Today I attended a baby shower. My nephew and his wife Jennifer are expecting their first child in July-a son! This event was a very nostalgic time for me...I got to see lots of friends from years gone by and my neice. I always love seeing her for several reasons. When she was first born, I laid claim to her LOL. I was just a teenager but I had that mothering instinct kick in and always wanted to care for her. Another reason is...she reminds me of good times, and the brief moment in my life when my son was alive. I lost my first born in 1992 from SIDS, this was during my first marriage. I must say when he passed I was very, very angry with God-so I was unable to find solace in him. My saving grace was my neice Melissa and my nephew James. I felt that I needed to be strong for them...it was hard to explain to them why D.J. had to go to heaven. They both helped me through a very difficult time in my life, and they were just little kids. I am sorry to say that I let our connection fade away after their parents divorced and I divorced their uncle. I have alway thought of them both and kept them in my heart.
So, in knowing all this, it is so hard to look at "baby James" and know that, wow, he is going to be a daddy. And Melissa (who I have always called Sissy), is in college and in a relationship with someone she really cares about.
I just want them both to know that even though they don't see or hear from me every day, I do love them just as much as I did when they were little.
Me and Melissa in 1992 (I'm pregnant with D.J.)
Me and Melissa today
James and Jennifer
Me the clown with Melissa, James and uncle Larry on Melissa's birthday